Review: Words and their Meanings by Kate Bassett

Read (August 20-21, 2014)

Book: Words and their Meanings by Kate Bassett
Publication Date: September 8, 2014
Publisher: Flux
Number of Pages: 360
Genre/s: Young Adult, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction
Source: Publisher

Anna O’Mally doesn’t believe in the five stages of grief. Her way of dealing with death equates to daily bouts of coffin yoga and fake-tattooing Patti Smith quotes onto her arms. Once a talented writer, Anna no longer believes words matter, until shocking discoveries–in the form of origami cranes–force her to redefine family and love.

As Anna goes in search of the truth, she discovers that while every story, every human being, has a last line, it might still be possible to find the words for a new beginning. - (source)

“It's only been a year and some change since Joe. And now, here I am again, waiting, trying to stop hoping. And drowning in what I could have done to save someone I love. ”

Words and their Meanings is a tough book to read. It's a kind of story that pleads silently for any comforting gesture but lashes out at the slightest of touch. It has sucker punched me in all my vulnerable places and I have no idea how I've survived it. Reading this book trapped me in an awful, depressing bubble that I don't know how to shake away, even now. I feel like doing my own coffin yoga, practice my own blank stare, and will away my existence, even just for a short while, because feeling all these feels is hurting me.

“You can't let emotions consume you. ”

— Ha, book! Are you referring to me?

Grief is the weirdest thing. I've seen it time and again. From people I don't know, from acquaintances, and from people who are close to me. Everyone reacts differently. Coping varies from one person to the next. One thing is a constant though, it never fails to make itself known. It might hit you the way a raindrop casually falls from an oncoming downpour or it might felt like being ran over by a bulldozer. In Words and their Meanings, I've suffered both and I am still not sure how and why.

“What I feel is not in the human vocabulary.”

Its intensity and rawness is unflinching in its pain. Its words carried a weight that begs to be endured and understood and absorbed. I cried—no, I leaked. My unrelenting tears was a direct result of the emotional gutting I've received from this sad, sob-fest of a story. But the most surprising thing was underneath the crushing waves of agony and sorrow, it was punctuated by tiny nuggets of hope and healing for these characters, which comes unexpectedly in hilarious moments. A minor respite but enough to fill me with optimism that they could come back from all these, stronger as a person and tighter as a family than ever.

“How do I say Mateo reminds me of the poem that cut deepest? The one so full of fear that one break in stillness is enough to bring joy and hope and life?

I don't.”

I feel obligated to talk about the characters' humanness, fragility and realness. I feel like I need to discuss the genuineness of the friendship, the family dynamics, and the wonderful portrayal of love and its complexity. I feel like I need a separate section for Mateo alone, or for Joe, or for Anna, or for Anna's parents or her Gramps, or her sister or her bestfriend. But I won't try. I don't have enough in me to try. But I was there for them and I hope that's enough.

“Think about how weird it is to feel broken and mended all at once. Sad and happy. Sappy.”

— Tell me about it, book. *sniffs*

I felt so drained. So emotionally exhausted. So wrung out. This book scared me with its darkness and pain. My head hurt, as what happens, when I cry too much and I don't think I could ever go through this again. But I might, I might just have to, because if every reread is equivalent to a pat on the shoulder, or an embrace, or even a simple nod of understanding, I'd do it all again for these characters and their story.

“Everyone gets one last line. But first lines, stories of love and loss and hope floating on backs of paper cranes? We choose how many of those we get to tell.

All we have to do is breathe deep. Breathe life in.

My eyes slip closed, and I do. I breathe. I breathe. I breathe.”

Cupid's Verdict:

5 Cupids

A copy was provided by the publisher at no cost in exchange for an honest review.
Quotes are taken from an uncorrected ARC and may change in the final copy.

Review: If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Read (November 3 - 4, 2010)

Book: If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Publication Date: April 6, 2010

Publisher: Speak

Number of Pages: 234 

Genre/s: Young Adult, Realistic Fiction
Source: Bought

A critically acclaimed novel that will change the way you look at life, love, and family.

In the blink of an eye everything changes. Seventeen ­year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall what happened afterwards, watching her own damaged body being taken from the wreck. Little by little she struggles to put together the pieces- to figure out what she has lost, what she has left, and the very difficult choice she must make. Heartwrenchingly beautiful, Mia's story will stay with you for a long, long time. - (source)

“Then the musical instruments appeared. Dad’s snare drum from the house, Henry’s guitar from his car, Adam’s spare guitar from my room. Everyone was jamming together, singing songs: Dad’s songs, Adam’s songs, old Clash songs, old Wipers songs. Teddy was dancing around, the blond of his hair reflecting the golden flames. I remember watching it all and getting that tickling in my chest and thinking to myself: This is what happiness feels like.” - taken from If I Stay 

As Mia contemplates about her decision, readers were taken into a series of flashbacks that show how her life has been. These flashbacks and memories seem to flow from inside Mia to me, the reader. Mia, the girl who felt like she did not belong, is in fact has the love that binds those very important to her. She belongs. She’s meant to be with them, right in the middle. I was so captivated by Mia’s reminiscing that I slowly became part of her family and when she did finally decides what’s best for her, I felt like I would burst with emotion and there’s no way out but to cry.

She also asked: What if every person dying gets to decide whether they stay or go? Physically, you are there lying in bed, broken and bruised but the echo of you is watching everything unfold. How hard it must be to see the people you love wait with worry across the hospital hall? Hearing them talk about you like you’re not there. Seeing them cry and despair. I can’t help but feel Mia’s pain and sadness because I know how she loved her family and how scary it must be to be alone and wake up never to see them again.

Mia and Adam love story is just the way I wish mine would be. Quiet because they communicate in ways no other couples could: in music. It was honest and real. It was not forced, not a given but something that was develop over time. The kind that could last forever. I honestly think that Adam is one of the most unforgettable and sweetest male characters I’ve ever come across in books. Also, Mia and Kim’s friendship was incredibly portrayed. It will really make you realize that family can also be found in friends.

If I Stay is a gripping story of family, friendship and love. Forman has this amazing talent in translating emotions into words that will leave you open and personal with whatever the character is feeling. It was one of my best reads in 2010 and I was rubbed raw by the whole experience, I had tears on my eyes, my heart broke a million times but I will surely go back to this book like what I did today and remember Mia. Touching, poignant and packed-full of emotions, If I Stay will surely stir something in the deepest of your hearts. Just please make sure you have a couple of tissues at the ready.

Cupid's Verdict:

5 Cupids